Let’s face it – Evolution and Transformation are hard. Sometimes there is no other way than to retreat into the cocoon and hide away before emerging seemingly unrecognisable. Such is the journey of transformation.
We often consider the butterfly emerging from the cocoon as an amazing victory – but do we ever consider that during it’s time in the cocoon it literally turned to mush. It lost all shape, form and identity – it become nothing – lost in the dark – before emerging in its transformation. Doesn’t sound like much fun, does it? And yet how else does the butterfly emerge?
There are many things that can trigger this evolution and transformation. It might be a job loss, a relationship breakdown, a death in the family, illness, or any other numerous events. It may even be something quite small that holds great impact. Whatever it is that triggers our evolution, awakening, transformation, or whatever else you would like to call your phoenix rising from the ash’s moment – it is powerful, and scary, and often ego destroying.
I have come to visualise these moments in life as the archer pulling back the arrow and creating enough force and resistance that when our time to emerge arises, we are launched into a place, and life, we didn’t even know was possible, and often more quickly and transformative than we find comfortable. We can feel stuck, or as though nothing is moving, or as though everything is against us – when seemingly overnight we are launched forth into a new evolved, transformed version of ourselves.
The thing about evolving and transforming is when our growth game is strong, when we are willing to do the work, and healing, and face ourselves and our shadows, we often upset, or lose resonance with those around us. It may be that we go on a different trajectory, or it may be that we just no longer see the world through the same lens.
Think of the newly evolved butterfly trying to hang out with his caterpillar friends – someone must learn to fly, or he has to limit his potential by staying on the ground. These disruptions can be temporary, or permanent, but they are never a cause of blame or fault, so much as an opportunity to love and bless another for where they are on their path – even if we must part ways as we no longer ‘fit’ for the next part of our journey.
After the recent death of my father, I find myself going through another (as I have had many) period of internal transformation. As many who have experienced the loss of a parent would know, it can bring into question our connection to ourselves, our world, and our purpose. That safe umbilical cord, or in my case solid foundation, seeming to have disappeared into thin air. This is of course an illusion, as we are still connected to ourselves, which is where our true grounding comes from, and through internal connection we can access the memories and spirit of our lost loved ones. They never really leave us after all.
And so, for those of you who are going through a ‘dark night of the soul’, or deep experience of inner reflection and healing, I invite you to be brave and strong, and recognise that the blessings on the other side are nothing short of awe inspiring. With patience and a willingness to surrender to the process, by allowing ourselves to break down into mush, or by sitting in the discomfort of the resistance, we can more easily transform into the beautiful new version of ourselves waiting to be embraced.