THE PHOENIX WRITES

I know it must be done
I know it is no fun
My pride and courage fight
Silence broken by screams of fright!

Instructed by fashions plight
By beauty’s youthful might
I must be brave and strong
Or wear a spider long.

My personal space paraded
As by hot wax invaded
I wonder while baring lard
If out of date would be as hard

Need coffee hot and strong
Now at last all hair is gone
I fear at Thirty Four
How many years I’ll do this for.

I hope in my despair
At a hundred I’ll have no hair
Or in death my pains replaced
As the dump truck hides my face!

I stayed up quite late that night,
On the 21st of May.
I’d just had my girlfriend over,
And we’d been playing in the hay.

It was about two in the morning,
When I heard this funny sound,
It sounded like the fence coming down,
Coming down, down, right to the ground.

I froze solid in my bed that night.
I was frozen with sheer fright.
I was listening, watching, and waiting alright.
But I’m a chicken in the night.

It was about an hour after,
The sound came to my ears.
When finally I got the courage,
To end my happy years.

So I crept then out of my bed.
As quiet as a mouse.
I was going to look around the place,
To see who was about my house.

But Alas, it was to no Avail,
For all that I could see,
The sail was missing from my boat.
Alas, it had to be me.

I cursed and cursed and cursed again.
But my courage did not fail.
If I had not been so cowardly.
I would not have lost my sail.

That was when I learnt my lesson,
To never listen, watch and wait.
You should get up, and go out there,
And ditch a nice cream cake.

Said the Codger in the corner
Of the pub at Avonlea
“There’s a missus, who I’d kisses
If she’d sit upon me knee”.

“But I’m eighty, like me matey
And I’m too inclined to pee.
So I’ll leave her to another
And keep my faithful Tennessee!”

Said the barman to the Codger
“Well you see here my old friend!
You’ve been sitting in the corner
Since ya leg would no more bend”.

“You’ve been drinkin all me whisky
Yep your love from Tennessee!
Don’t ya know ya have a misses
And she’s looking out for ye.”

Said the Codger to the barman
“Mate now you just let me be
I’ve paid ya all good money
For me love from Tennessee!”.

“And me misses whom I kisses
Who is waiting home for me
Is all weathered, worn and weary
And she naggeth poor old me.”

Said the lady at the counter
Who’d not sit upon his knee.
“Mister if you loved and kissed her
She’d no longer naggeth ye!”

Said the Codger to the lady
“Well Ok! Now let me see
I’d go home to see me misses
But will not leave my Tennessee!”

Kerplop
Tasty morsel sinks beneath the depths
Lures with its sparkling promise of tender fruits,
No hint of its hidden ensnarement.

Large eyes ogle the morsel,
Owner biding his time to ensure the promised catch
Tasty sport to be found here today!

CHOMP
Got You!
No quick escape for you my tasty morsel!
The thoughts are echoed from above
As the eyes bulge in surprise.

Pain tears through the scaly flesh
Forgotten in a split second
when unrelenting pressure jerks upwards,
Pulling towards heavens waterless ocean of air.

Oh what snares have trapped me
in my endeavours for a free meal and entertainment?
What costly price paid for careless satisfaction?
​
With every powerful swish of my tail I resist,
But soon I am face to face with my captor.
His hungry eyes and fat tummy belie his need to feed.

Take heed the captor who would become captive
Take heed lest you become someone else’ sport.